The Power of Quiet

Years ago, University of Alabama writing professor Michael Martone asked me to contribute to an essay collection of writers giving advice to other writers. It was called Rules of Thumb. The title of my essay was “Just Shut Up.’

In it, I used a whole lot of words to tell writers, especially those just starting, that sometimes talking about your ideas, your plans, and your very grandiose intentions can kill your creativity. Storytelling is an impulse and once you’ve told your story to every Tom, Dick and writing coach, you may not need to create that book. You’ll be staring at your computer screen wondering just when you lost interest. So just shut up. Be quiet. Go with God.

It occurs to me that the same advice is useful to people in so many areas of their life.

We always advise other people to think before they speak. Forget about thinking before you speak. Just don’t speak before you speak. As a friend of mine used to say, hit the pause button, take a breath and let your brain and your mouth become synchronized. You might discover that you don’t need to say anything at all. I think I have prevailed in a lot of arguments by letting the other person talk themselves out to the point of exhaustion. In a way, I refuse to let the argument happen. If I don’t respond, are you really arguing with me? Could be you’re just spewing a lot of carbon dioxide.

Some of us want to beat people down with words. Some of us spend a lot of time trying to convince those who just will not budge. They are their argument and you are yours. It’s a verbal shoving match. So bless their hearts and quietly let them go.

Sometimes this means letting people think that they have won these non-arguments. Sometimes this means letting people think that they silenced you. But it’s okay. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

We admire people who can articulate, argue a point, speechify and preachify. But quiet is also a superpower.